Party of Three

Vandal!

2011-05-23T23:32:00.005+08:00

He's faster than Dash, peskier than Dennis the Menace....

Meet my 13 mo who, in a blink of an eye, managed to drag his play mat and completely dissembled it to little pieces, making a mess of the area.

He was pretty happy with his act and gave himself 2 BIG outstretched claps.

The satisfied vandal.

Kids just do the darnest thing ...when you least expect them to.

iBooth

2011-05-09T01:07:00.002+08:00

The boys getting in on some action in the photo booth.

The silly billies......I love them both.

Evenflo Exersaucer Ultra 2 in 1

2011-01-31T17:45:00.005+08:00

The Exersaucer was our first rental so in many ways, this toy was special.

"He is very happy w his new toy," texted the nanny.

These were music to any mummy's ears, specially when she's just returned to the work force and missing the bubs heaps. At least, he's having fun.

Bud's just discovered the joy of bouncing and needless to say, any pair of arms spared for a baby with never-ending energy is a welcome reprieve.

When we returned home, Bud was bouncing on the toy like a happy bunny to the extent that the toys were vibrating with his energy. It was a funny sight!

The height of the chair can be adjusted to 3 various positions so the toy can grow with your baby. The playmat is slightly quilted so there is additional padding for your baby's fleshy undersole. The table is supported/suspended by springs in its 3 legs.

The table is replete with toys for tiny, wondering fingers; Baby will be hard-pressed to get bored of it easily. Bud's motor skills were not that developed at that point to utilize the toys fully. I reckon that you'll get your 32 credits well-spent there and perhaps some time to potter about the house while Baby gets busy in the exersaucer.

As a bouncer, the toy definitely satisfied that criteria.

The downside is that the toy is a tad old-looking. Not a biggie, really, but has to be said in the spirit of honesty here.

The toys are a wee bit close for comfort. There is a cup that comes up in close proximity to Bud's head with a rather sharp rim. An orange star could potentially poke the little one's eye. A yellow teddy bear gave Bud a nasty scratch at the eyebrow as it was poking out on the tray. So you see, quite a few nasty traps lurking about. We ended up removing one or 2 toys which then falls short an effective toy on the whole.

I would recommend renting this for an older baby to enjoy it to its fullest potential.

Bright Starts Bounce Bounce Baby

2011-01-28T18:12:00.000+08:00

This toy got Bud & I waiting for about 2 months on the reservation list.

Bud had started to jump around on laps or any surface he was on. This flooring secured by suspension was perfect for him, I thought; not as hard as the floor and he could get the upward leverage that he desired as well.

Maybe it was the wait that built up the hype or perhaps Bud had simply outgrown his wants and looked for greater ‘adventures’ in a toy.

Quite often, he fussed when placed in the Bounce. The platform frustrated him because the upward mobility was lacking. The Sun toy stalk ratchets proved a potential danger for head/facial injury when Bud threw back his head while rotating in his seat. Bud used it as a teether, bending the stalk down to put his mouth to it but the catapult action had smacked him in the face before. The Bounce is quite compact as a triangular space saving design but has compromised on the range of toys offered.

We were quite happy when the lease was ending with a new toy on its way.

Bud's Monthly Treats

2011-01-26T23:13:00.004+08:00

Thanks to Toy Rental World, I have reaffirmed my decision not to buy toys for Bud.

We shuttle between 2 homes every week where one, the space is tight and the other, clutter is abhorred.

At the rate that Bud is growing, certain toys may be rendered superfluous in a matter of weeks.

Bud is certainly not complaining.

We keep his toy offerings fresh.

Luckily, Bud doesn’t have any special affinity or attachment to his toys which makes it easy to transition from one toy to another.

Toy Rental disinfects the toys and wraps them up in plastic (if regular-shaped) for delivery. It’s hassle-free: the toys are delivered to your door-step and pick-up is also arranged. The site owner is easily contactable should there be any queries or issues to be clarified. Rentals are for a month at a time and some popular items can be reserved, if so desired. I’ve checked out some other similar sites but the toy offerings are not as varied and the prices not as competitive.

We’ve been renting their toys for 6 months now.

Bud certainly liked some more than others from the ‘abuse’ that he’s put the hapless ones through.

Bear with me while I attempt to do a review on each of the toy Bud’s played with:

Evenflo Exersaucer Ultra 2_in_1

Evenflo In the Garden ExerSaucer Walk Around

Fisher Price Rainforest Jumperoo

LeapFrog Learn & Groove Activity Station

Bright Starts Around We Go Activity Stn (Tropical Fun/DoodleBug)

Bright Starts Bounce Bounce Baby Activity Zone

Nothing Frosty About This Love

2011-01-25T13:01:00.012+08:00

I read blogs and cannot help but get reeled into the author's lives -- their pain, their struggles, their joys, their love.

This is my drama serial and the good news (to me) is-- there never has to be an end, a final episode.

I am a sucker for love stories...especially those of 2 people who'd dated, broken up, been with other people, only to rekindle their love and end up marrying each other.

Early this year, my best pop artist had won his best girl.

Jason Mraz co-wrote what I think is a really sexy come-on song with Tristan Prettyman (isn't her name pretty?) called "Shy That Way" in 2002. They dated and ended their relationship in 2006.
I'll like to think that he wrote "You & I Both" for her.

I got the chance to know her through her concert here at the Esplanade. We had a very short chat. She's so tall, pretty, unassuming with a laid-back surfer girl vibe who's not shy that she's an A.D.D.

I'd secretly hoped that they'll get back together as a couple.

Fast forward 5 years, Jason proposed to Tristan on 23 Dec and tweeted that "She said Yes." -- a funny romantic recount of his near-perfect proposal that almost was not.

Then came her blog about her newly-engaged status and her 'love-song' for her man, how she knew he'd be the One from Day One. Swoon.......

Maybe at the end of the day, the twists and turns that life throws at us, while playing an important role in moulding who we are, are just teasers to the what we intuitively know to be the end result. It's like we take the detour just to be sure of our dreams/goals. Am I making sense?

I leave you with this song that they wrote ""All I Want For Christmas is Us" together in November 2005.

May they write many more beautiful music together and have lovely kids.

Love is all around. Go seek yours.

PS: Mraz is Czech for "Frost".

A Ta-Da Outburst

2011-01-24T13:22:00.003+08:00

It was a Saturday night on day 295 and we were getting ready for bed.

I was in the bathroom doing what I usually do.

Wei was with Bud on the bed having some quiet down time.

There were laughter, there were the gurgling sounds that Bud has a habit of making.

"Da Da!", said the little voice.

It was short, it was clear and by golly, it was resounding.

It prompted me to walk out to the bedroom.

"Did you hear that?!", I asked.

I egged him on to repeat it.

"Say 'Da Da'!"

"Da Da!" said little Bud.

As magical and unexpected as it came, I've not had much success for Bud to say those words again; each attempt elicits a smile or laughter from him.

'Da Da'......his first little word.

And that's ok.

Welcoming 2011!

2011-01-01T15:49:00.002+08:00

As we send off 2010 into a blaze of glory, our young cowboy tips his hat to welcome the New Year.

Yee Haw!

Christmas 2010: Bud's First

2010-12-29T18:32:00.010+08:00

In a not too distant past, Pa would always ask us what we wanted for Christmas so he could pass on the message to Santa. On Christmas morning, we'd inevitably find our gifts under the tree.

I'd received some of the best gifts ever from under that tree...gifts I'd wish I'd kept.

Bud is not too young to know about Christmas.

I sang to him Christmas hymns, placed him on my lap amidst studying while Corrinne May crooned in the background about The Gift, pasted Christmas jelly stickers in places where he'd gaze. My happiest contribution yet was to bring him to church to welcome the birth of The Emmanuel. There'll be more Christmas traditions to be embraced as he gets older.

We took Bud to the restaurant where Wei & I spent our last Christmas as a DINK (double income no kids).

Pre-Bud

He was a sweetheart and slept through most of our dinner and made an appearance for a special family shot.

This Christmas he got to see his cousins from Hong Kong for the first time. There's no greater love and joy than time spent with family. I put him in silly festive costumes which will make great pictures for the album. And the gifts.....so many nice gifts from the people who cares for him.

I do hope I made his first Christmas a special one.

Our Christmas sure has been magical with him around.

**See our Christmas in stills here.**

Good Morning You 2

2010-12-29T17:56:00.003+08:00

I woke up one morning to see my fave boys pouring over something interesting on the net in their best outfit yet.

What a great way to kick start the day.

Letters To Bud: Guilt

2010-12-26T17:51:00.004+08:00

Dearest Bud

I'm sorry Mummy hasn't spent much time with you since she's started work.

Mummy will like to think that she's giving you a better future with this new job but all she's doing is providing you greater material comfort.....which means squat to you if she's not there, mentally.

With the limited time we have with each other in the evenings, my mind is distracted, my eyes -- not on you. You get curious over Mummy's text book and the number of tears and crumpled pages were testiment to how Mummy tried to marry her 2 priorities together.

You shouldn't have to be embroiled in my struggle.

On weekends, Daddy has had to step it up to just so that Mummy had the time to study in the next room. I hated to be so near yet so far away.

You know what? After 3 unsuccessful tries, Mummy finally made it!!!

Mummy got on the phone with Daddy and we were both laughing and crying at the same time. We did it, Buddy.....the 3 of us. It was your sacrifice as much as it was Daddy's.

Now I feel like a dark cloud has lifted and blown away...life could go on as we all knew it.

Mummy's back. No more distractions, no more sneaking away... Mummy can pick up her reading on parenting books and we can spend solid time together.

We're gonna have a great year ahead!

Happy Christmas!

2010-12-25T01:00:00.000+08:00

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well, I'm all grown-up now
Can you still help somehow?
I'm not a child, but my start still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown-up Christmas list
Not for myself, but for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown-up Christmas list

What is this illusion called the innocence of youth?
Maybe only in that blind belief can we ever find the truth

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
And time would heal our hearts
Every man would have a friend
That right would always win
And love would never end

This is my grown-up Christmas list
This is my only lifelong wish
This is my grown-up Christmas list

Happy Christmas to the child in you, Love from the Linsters.

Hair Apparent

2010-12-24T23:55:00.001+08:00

Ta Dah!

I present to you the cut of the year, literally for this little guy.

Maybe not much of a diff but there's so much of his face now, instead of being blocked by the 'shroom hair.

First Cut

2010-12-19T14:51:00.007+08:00

For the first time in 8.5 months, Bud gets his first cut.

If it wasn't his little tuft of hair getting in the way of his eyes, we would have been pretty comfortable to let the rest of his hair grow out.

The "Before"

And so, his first hair cut was quite a poignant moment for this mummy and will not go down without being documented.

Bribery

Dodger

**Watch this space to see his new haircut. **

Where I Stood

2010-12-16T23:02:00.002+08:00

I don't know what i've done
Or if i like what i've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none

There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That i should go and this should end
Oh and i found myself listening

'cause i don't know who i am who i am without you
All i know is that i should
And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you
All i know is that i should

New Challenges for This Mummy Brain

2010-12-06T22:49:00.002+08:00

I thought that if I could tolerate labour pain (30 hours of it no less) and give birth to a baby ....I could do anything.....anything I want as long as I put my heart and mind to it.

Well.

Almost anything.

Never mind the lack of sleep, the challenges in the new job, juggling relationships ....

Passing this d@mn exam is such an uphill battle. The tunnel seems too long, the light too dim.

I think it takes a miracle to happen....

Bud has waited far too long.

He wants his Mummy back.

A Friend From Before

2010-12-04T17:20:00.004+08:00

I was sitting across Wei during lunch and somehow, I thought he resembled a friend from long ago.

Spot the Difference

2010-11-27T22:45:00.007+08:00

Gobsmacked By Lip Smack

2010-11-14T00:04:00.008+08:00

Bud was in his pjs lying on the bed with me. Most times, I like to smack my lips together to get a reaction from him.

I was tickled pink by his reaction.

In Love Again

2010-11-13T17:03:00.005+08:00

"I am in love with this guy," I blurted out.
"I'm glad you are," came the reply.

I don't know about you but I wanna chomp on my son's cheeks, nibble his toes, sink my teeth into his thighs, breathe his breath constantly, blow farting sounds on his little tum-tum, plant wet kisses on his lips, chew on his earlobes...

Poor fella's stuck with me for a very long time.

*Evil laughter*

Learning by Osmosis

2010-08-04T16:32:00.004+08:00

How do women do it? Study, look after a kid and breastfeed a baby?

Could I learn faster by putting my head next to the book?

Giving new meaning to the term 'hitting the book".

The Aidan Smell

2010-07-26T22:35:00.002+08:00

Wei quite correctly pointed out that he now associates the dryer sheet we use for Bud's clothes to be The Aidan Smell....a mixture of coconut, palm, canola plus Bud's very own essential oils.

I'm sure halfway across the world, another set of parents also associate the same smell as their baby's scent.

Method Squeaky Green Baby Dryer Cloth

Tres Vogue for Mothers

2010-07-24T09:13:00.004+08:00

I am really stoked to learn about Mothers En Vogue (MEV) at about the time Bud was born.

Here's a brand of maternity/nursing clothing that truly understands that style needn't be compromised for function. This is a local label founded by a mother who understands the demands of elegant nursing on the go and provides options of various nursing access.

I was sold by the fact that this is also an eco-conscious brand which uses natural fibres like organic cotton and bamboo and they feel soft on the skin even after several washes.

I've been using the clothing to death since Bud came along. For the tops, I've tried the neckline, side seam and vertical-front access; Love love love the neckline access. It's fast and easy. The side seam can be a bit tricky. Bud is quite active and more often than not he unlatches several times during the feed. I find it cumbersome to keep separating the material wide enough for Bud to continue with the feed. I least like the vertical-front access because both hands are required to do the zip, leaving Bud is a precarious position on my lap -- barring an extra set of hands for help.

I like the cutting of the bottoms too ranging from skirts, weekend shorts to capris.

Unlike the other maternity/nursing wear, MEV's quality does not deteriorate after several washes and it's good to wear even without ironing (who's not a busy mom, right?)

I just wished I'd tried this brand sooner when I was pregnant with Bud. At least I've 'stressed tested' the tops during nursing and these batch of clothes will again come useful for baby #2.....that is if they've not fallen apart from my incessant wearing.

Marco! Polo!

2010-07-22T00:38:00.004+08:00

Wei has a knack for looking out for these sorta things and was quite quick to point it out.

"Polo Bear?"

And why in the world are there automobiles with the great big bear?

Combi High Chair

2010-07-17T00:17:00.009+08:00

It was big. It was bulky. It was simply OTT. I didn't care for it at first sight.

I baulked at the price.

"$270 plus? You must be kidding!"I thought.

2 months on, I've learnt to appreciate this Combi Rashule high chair.

For one, it is a chair on wheels. Bud goes wherever I am (to the kitchen, to the study) in the comfort of his chair and my hands are free to potter about.

It's high so no back-breaking moves for me and the older folks.

The back of the chair can be reclined backwards such that it's a sleeping bed (shown in the picture) or upwards -- for a baby as inquisitive as Bud, he sure likes the view.

The chair will also slide back and forth in a rocking motion; Bud has caught many a nap in this super chair.

There is a tray (not in pictures) which the baby could use during feeding and the seat cushion can be removed for machine wash.

Drawbacks:

1) The wheels go forwards and backwards; front wheels swivel but have their limitations especially around corners;

2) The cotton padding, even though touted as having a ventilating system, can be a bit thick. Bud has soaked it several times with his sweat;

3) There is a 5-point harness which protects the baby in various stages of growth, which is a plus actually. But I detest using the shoulder straps on Bud -- somehow it reminds me of the infamous picture of Dr. Hannibal in Silence of the Lambs.

All in all, I appreciate the convenience this high chair has provided. Bud seems to like it enough and like most babies who get bored easily, he fusses ocassionally to be carried.

Would I buy a second unit for home? Very tempting but I am deterred by the hefty price tag.

The Body Postpartum Update

2010-07-11T10:09:00.003+08:00

My hair has started to fall...fast.

3 months and 1 week since Bud's birth, I now see the strands of hair at the bathroom drain stopper. When I style my hair, a comb through my hair will take along at least 4 strands. My poor healthy hair!

My face started breaking out. Perfect timing, I thought, just when I am about to start work!

Diapers Made Sexy

2010-07-08T03:14:00.004+08:00

Read the word "nappy" and memories of the times I used to fold the white muslins for my nieces and nephew came to mind.

A girlfriend once said the usage of nappies was made possible by having the helper in the house do the laundry and we all know the work that's got to go into ensuring those muslins come out white after a big (poop) job.

Modern nappies these days come in such exciting colours. A little rinse, throw them into the machine and they are as good as new. No pre-folds necessary. It really is that easy. I was a little apprehensive, to be honest, whether the nappy will hold its own (pun intended) when it came to the low and the dirty.

Bud poos every 3-4 days. When poop day comes, I can hear the diaper shi*ting in its pants (another pun intended) 'cos it sure is a sh*t load, lemme tell you that.

Bud wears the Bumwear Pocket Diapers and so far, it hasn't disappointed.

I like the fact that:

1) the diaper is adjustable and Bud could wear it till he is 2 yo;

2) I am not adding to the refuse collection -- ordinary diapers take a long time to break down;

3) I am saving money (there's a neat illustration at the website on how much money you potentially save vis a vis buying a disposable diaper);

4) I could pass this down to Baby #2.

Bud wearing Bumwear

We've also been using Seventh Generation. The disposable diapers are free from chlorine bleaching, hence the natural brown hue. It is hypoallergenic and free from fragrance and latex. A pack of 40s cost $15.50 from NTUC Finest which doesn't cost anymore than your Mamy Pokos and your Pampers at S$0.38 a pop. There were times where the diaper couldn't contain the load. Bud's clothing was wet either at the back or at his side within the hour after a change. That was during the initial stage so it could've been that we didn't put on the diaper properly. As a breastfed baby, Bud's poo tends to be runny. On poo days, the yellow will inevitably stain the leg gathers onto his upper thighs. So we've haven't actually used it at night.

I've recently ordered another eco friendly disposable diaper from Oko Loco which brings in Moltex biodegradable diapers .

Will it do better than Seventh? I can't wait to find out. Watch this space for the review.

Low Bang, Lobang

2010-07-05T03:04:00.001+08:00

His hair at the back is going as well!!

Dizzying Heights

2010-07-05T02:06:00.008+08:00

If you remembered a post some months ago about something I was hankering for, well, I got it.

In my (weak) defense, it's a gift for myself to celebrate motherhood....since Wei doesn't know the concept of a push gift! Oh alright, not that I could ever bring it up to him anyway.

But this gilamama couldn't believe that she actually put her plastic ---and heart through a major workout. And she was doing so well, abstaining from retail therapy....until now, that is.

I had no intention of buying. "They wouldn't have my size," I assured myself but I tried asking anyway.

There it was sitting non-threateningly on the shelf. Once I had it on, I was beside myself.

It put the word "cleavage" to a new meaning.

No need to adjust your screen. It had the same dizzying effect on me.

PS: Me thinks the calf muscles will be quite solid from the tippy toeing away from skinny heel fiends like floor grouts and escalator teeth.

Holding On To Precious Moments

2010-06-26T18:39:00.007+08:00

You know how some people are squirmish about carrying a baby who's not quite developed her neck muscles or sit up on her own?

Yep, that was me.

I wouldn't offer to carry unless the baby was at least one year old...the only exception were my nephews and that was under the supervision of their parents.

"I only like babies when they can talk," declared I.

And I hung on to that sentiment entering parenthood.

Of course I handle Bud with a lot more confidence than I had with babies, say a year ago.

But I was waiting with eager anticipation for him to grow up fast so we could have meaningful conversations. I couldn't wait to fast forward this stage where he does nothing but eat, sleep and poo. I found myself telling friends that Bud doesn't sleep a lot because deep down inside, I didn't know what to do with him during his waking moments.

Then I read the sentiments of Elizabeth Pentley, author of the "No Cry Sleep Solution" : "You may find you actually relish those quiet night wakings when no else is around. .... I love these silent moments that we share in the night. And I love being needed by this precious baby. ... Trust me when I say,"You'll miss this." Even the dark, exhausted nights will take on certain romance in your memories, and they'll bubble to the surface when your "baby" drives off in his first car, graduates from school, gets married, has his own baby."

And it hit me.

When I return to the work force, will those previous moments be hard to come by? Will my days consume my energy such that I no longer have the willpower to feed him at night?

By golly, these may be my last few weeks of nursing! Maybe I don't quite feel it yet but I know I will miss those nights for sure when it was just me, Bud and a few nocturnal insects.

Now that he is getting sociable (smiles, chuckles) and "conversing" a fair bit, he'll start running in a blink of an eye and ironically, I'm hoping to retard the wheels of change and hanging on to every precious moment I have with him.

Running for Sanctuary House

2010-06-26T15:39:00.003+08:00

The pledge:
Run 21 km
Raise S$21,000.00 AND
Lose 10 kg

Kudos to the person who thrives to achieve any ONE of the above, much less all 3 at the same time.

This outstanding pledge is a "single mother's search for balance & fulfilment" in support for Sanctuary House.

Sanctuary House was set up in 2005 as a haven for abandoned babies and families in crisis pregnancy situations.

Ginny, an established Doula in Singapore and a victim of child abuse, is fulfilling her dream of running a marathon, putting her Hypnobirthing teachings and her hectic professional schedule to the test.

Be a part of Ginny's journey by reading her running updates and spread the word.

My Selphy

2010-06-11T12:25:00.002+08:00

Ooh can't wait to use this new tool for Aidan's project.

My Saviour - The No Cry Sleep Solution Book

2010-06-10T15:54:00.007+08:00

I may be counting my chicks before they hatch but I think this needs to be said.....my baby is officially sleeping through the night!

I am literally over the moon! This is the third consecutive day now. The first night hew slept for 6 hours, then 6.5 hours then last night-- get this, 7.5 hours!

And Bud actually went to sleep on his own during his afternoon nap. No pacifier, no rocking, no feeding.

At his age, "sleeping through the night" means about 4-5 hours of sleep so I wasn't complaining about waking twice during the night to nurse him. It was getting him to sleep more during the day that was bugging me.

So I read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley -- it is a must-read for all parents who believe in not letting their baby cry it out when putting him to sleep.

The tips given in the book are largely intuitive but there were some "Aha!" moments for me and I identified with many of the struggles of the test mommies.

My take-aways from the book are: sleep association and adopt a pre-sleep routine.

Basically, babies have numerous brief awakenings. So it is important to recognise that babies make sleeping noises and yes, even if it sounds that Baby is crying, he's really just having REM sleep; so don't rush to soothe Baby just yet. Often, Baby is able to go back to sleep on his own. Or if your baby is like Bud who tends to jolt 5-10 minutes after falling asleep, stick around and soothe him back to sleep when it happens.

Also, cut yourself loose from the chains of rocking, using the pacifier, nursing to get Baby to sleep. I have adopted a routine prior to Bud's sleeping time so he learns to associate those activities to sleep.

If you have a bub who wakes up several times a night looking for comfort, company and not because he is hungry or if you are like me who didn't quite know how to settle Baby down for a long nap in the afternoons, help yourself (your sleep and sanity). Grab this book.

You won't regret it.

The Hero

2010-06-08T11:47:00.004+08:00

Wei doesn't say it in so many words but I think he feels inferior to my breasts. They almost always seem to calm Bud down.

I don't think it's so much the fact that nothing he does is ever good enough but more like he doesn't feel that he's helped much, if at all, in trying situations.

Last night Bud became upset at the breast. He's never been that way before and cried so hard. We didn't know what else to do. Any attempt of distraction inevitably returned to my offer of the breast which I've relied so heavily on as an effective soothing technique.

Yet Wei offered to take Bud and bob him -- the way he knew how. Even though he was tired, feeling under the weather with Bud crying into his good ear, Wei persevered and held on to the hapless bub until he settled down and finally fell asleep.... for 6 beautiful hours.

To me, the attempt to tackle an issue even though the means may not guarantee the intended result is true grit. Wei is such a great parenting partner who is ever ready to jump in and help --and I am ever thankful.

In the meantime, I am just a mama cow and I have much to learn about the art of the rock and roll.

NB No More

2010-06-07T00:04:00.009+08:00

I can't believe I am getting emotional over this--- my baby is not a baby anymore!

Well it feels like it anyway.

Bud had overgrown his newborn (NB) clothing, some cute animal cartoon tops at that. His tummy gets exposed, his chest bigger, the buttons in the middle threaten to pop out.

Well, he's 10 weeks old now and 2.6kg heavier at 5.8kg. It's a matter of time that he'll fill out his clothing instead of hanging on him like sacks.

I've packed the NB sizes away and taken the bigger-sized clothes out for him tonight.

He can't remain a baby forever but he'll always be my baby.

7 day old

10 weeks old

Milk Mare

2010-06-05T01:44:00.002+08:00

Bud cries....we check. Just one of his sleeping noises but it really does sound like he wanted attention.

"Having another nightmare," I said. "What nightmare can he possibly have?" I wondered.

"Being surrounded by breasts with no nipples," replied Wei.

:-D

Tracing The Source

2010-06-05T01:07:00.008+08:00

Not the best shot for comparison but you get what I'm trying to show you here.

Our Tingkat Dinner

2010-06-04T22:23:00.005+08:00

Since we've been home for the weekends, I've ordered our dinners from KCK Food Catering.

PS: Their website is not all updated.

I was pleasantly surprised that:
1) their tingkat (tiffin carrier) dinners doesn't require you to order a minimum of x number of meals per week which many other tingkat catering sites do;
2) it costs about $5 per person per meal for 3 dishes & 1 soup;
3) the meals actually taste good (not salt laden) and they don't skimp on the ingredients.

Bummer:
a) They can't deliver in tingkats anymore but in microwavable containers. Wei & I send the containers to the recycling bag in our bid to save Earth's resource *fingers crossed*. I guess that's why they don't tie you down for a min. meals per week;
b) They only deliver to the East.

This was one of our meals:

Did I actually mention what a lifesaver these meals have been?

Future Pondering

2010-06-04T01:50:00.003+08:00

I lay awake at 0246hr this morning even though I am knackered from the day's work.

My mind has been preoccupied with Bud's future.

I am sure that every mother before me who had planed to return to the workforce when her maternity leave expires have agonised about arranging the best care for her baby or considered alternative working arrangements to spend quality time with her bub.

I had it figured out.

Or so I thought until Bud arrived and I got to spend the past 2 months with him. Anticipating what is to come, I've wavered in my decision a couple of times.

I cannot help but feel anxious about leaving Bud in the Babysitter's care come July.

I will miss his first rollover, his first crawl, his first steps....to hear it from the babysitter's mouth will be heart wrenching. Will he still know me from what little time we have? Will I know him?

I remember a poignant scene from "Stepmom" where Susan Sarandon reveals to Julia Roberts that she has cancer and that her children's welfare will be in the latter's good hands. For a mother not to be able to partake in her child's future is heart breaking enough. To give it up to someone who (in her opinion) was deemed unfit even as a child minder must have been extremely humbling.

Well I do have more alternatives to play around with than Susan Sarandon had in the movie. But the permutation of placing Bud in the Babysitter's care while I work full time seems the best....right now.

Like it or not, she is a big feature in Bud's life.... anyway. Begrudgingly, I admit that he will be well-taken cared of by any standards.

It's about giving up control.

If I've been doing things a certain way, I bet it will be undone when there's a change of hands. There's no right or wrong way --- but there's a preferred way by either of us. The poor baby's going to be confused.

Susan Sarandon lamented that Julia Roberts will get to see her daughter in a wedding dress and Julia Roberts fears that her stepdaughter will wish her mom was around.

Babysitter may get to see all the firsts but I hope in my poorest of heart that Bud will wish I was there to witness it instead.

Before/ After Shots

2010-05-31T20:05:00.008+08:00

These are before after shots.

My baby has been losing his hair!!

He started a few days before the first month. It was quite apparent when his hair was wet in the bath; then the strands will land on his face and clothes when it was dry.

Can't see much of his famed sideburns too.

Boo.

Taken on 23 Apr

Taken on 30 May

Tales From The Crib

2010-05-31T19:31:00.002+08:00

It was past midnight.

I was nursing Bud his last feed for the night when Wei, who was already in la-la land, moved his hand; his 5 fingers were in unison going up and down, like he was patting someone.

It brought a smile to my face.

More often than not, in the wee hours of the morning, Bud would stir for attention.

I take him in my arms and feed him. He cries some more and I wonder why he's not comforted.

I open my eyes and realise he's still in his cot and that I had dreamt of waking up to nurse him. This delusion has happened several times now.

These stories have got to belong to first-time parents.

The Aidan Project

2010-05-28T17:22:00.004+08:00

Combining my two loves for this new Aidan project: stationery and journal.

Drab Fab

2010-05-25T15:03:00.003+08:00

These days, without consciously realising it, I go about my day without brushing my teeth or cleaning my face. I could be in my nursing gown from day till evening. My face is oily, my body is sweaty (breast feeding is a v hot & passionate affair)....I think Mother Earth is happy to have her soil back by the time I am done with my shower, which happens sometimes late at night.

I would not have recognized me a few months back.

And that's why I look forward to those lunches with my girl friends. For twice a week, I feel like a human being once again; I clean up nice to meet the outside world and have meaningful conversations (no offence Bud--baby talk is cool too).

I can't wait for my lunch date tomorrow.

Aidan vs Aedan

2010-05-21T19:51:00.003+08:00

Watching "The Gilmore Girls" always makes me crave for a burger -- it must be the healthy appetite of the Girls at Luke's.

So Relish we went to satiate my craving.

Wei started talking to a couple next to us with a pram as well. The mother came over to have a peek at Aidan who was (finally) feeling sleepy -- I guess the dim lighting in the diner worked.

So we chatted:
They have a 3-month old son;
She lives with her MIL who sounderd uncanningly similar to my MIL;
Both babies' fathers belong to the same alma mater;
(Get this) Their son's name is Aedan.

My jaw literally dropped when I heard that last bit.

We were so spooked that we arranged for brunch this Sunday.

:-D

Baby Aedan

The Body Postpartum

2010-05-15T11:31:00.000+08:00

You forget that the body has been to hell and back the day after the delivery. The system remains pumped with adrenaline and euphoria ... or maybe it's the drugs that fool you into thinking you are infallible and you could go through labour a few more times.

The ache & pain kicked-in about 24 hours later. Peeing needed some serious coaxing (oh gawd, i don't want to even think abt pooing), the legs were wobbly like jelly, the head was light, the tummy had that 'sour' sensation.

By the fifth day, I had more confidence walking and regained control of my legs. By the seventh day, I started peeing at will. I still felt sore nonetheless.

I was amazed by the "liquid gold" that came the day after delivery which will line Aidan's system with antibodies. As Wei crashed onto the couch next to me during the wee hours in the ward, I began to enjoy the bond with Bud more than I care to admit.

I was curious about the line down from my stomach to the start of my pubic area. Apparently my "linea nigra" will take some time to disappear (or not)...possibly a few months down the road. I was also quite happy about how fast the baby bump had gone down at 3weeks post delivery. And would you believe it.....no stretch marks! Woo hoo!

I hadn't realised until now that due to the pregnancy, my hair had been kept intact...and they are still intact. I think it should be falling out soon. That's about 9 * 30 * 1000 = 270,000 hair to fall out. Yikes...time to call Ken to cut it short first.

I'm sure most new mothers will atest to the fact that their wrists get weak(er) from the feeding, carrying, rocking the baby. It gets really stiff in the wee hours of the morning. OMG, my body is degenerating. Dr. Chong says parenting a child is THE labour so labour pains should be termed pre-labour instead. Yeah, good one.

Sometimes I will look down and wonder who this creature is attached to my breast most of the time; you'd think that with 30 hours of labour under my belt, I'd have more time to get used to the fact of this new addition to the family.

I still feel awed and humbled by his existence. I mean, we created him -- this beautiful boy.

How cool is that?

Aidan Turns One Month

2010-05-06T15:57:00.001+08:00

And just like that, Aidan turns a month old.

I could get nostalgic and say that the month flew by so fast.

There were many times when my life was just about those pockets of 5 minutes....especially during those 3am feeds and there was only zzzzs to accompany the silence of the night. I am currently not living in the comfort of my own home so there were other moments when i wished the day would come for me to get out of confinement. [ Who in the world decided that confinement is a month long anyway? ] I was planning my lunch appointments during those countless hours infront of the telly.

Motherhood is actually not so bad if Baby has a predictable pattern esp. sleeping pattern. So i am actually looking forward and hoping Aidan settles down to a routine. Here's looking to the 6th week when the turning point is supposed to be (?).

We threw a lunch for the foggies last weekend on this milestone:

Stop. Enjoy.

2010-05-03T15:43:00.004+08:00

There's quite a bit going on right now.

Aidan's like a whirlwind running in circles around us....hopefully he settles down soon.

In the meantime, here's a father and son pic.

Going to Miss The Visits

2010-04-21T17:15:00.005+08:00

I feel an immense connection to all who were involved in my long labour.

But I will be forever grateful to this guy who waited hours for me and safely delivered my boy. He's given me a great birth story to tell and frankly, I can't wait for baby #2 & go through it again.

For now, i will miss those gynae visits.

Packages for the Little One

2010-04-19T17:55:00.001+08:00

Cute gifts galore!

A personalised bib

Hand-Knitted bamboo top with a cute button for the Tiger baby.

Diaper cake

The Heart of Life: I 'Heart' This

2010-04-19T17:12:00.008+08:00

I discovered this song by John Mayer today--- love the acoustics, the lyrics and oh that voice. Even when the baby is crying, that voice could sooth many pain.

I hope it does the same for you too.

To friendship, to love and life.

Enjoy.

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

Aidan At 2 Weeks Old

2010-04-16T14:31:00.004+08:00

Last Saturday I was feeling nostalgic about having delivered to Aidan the week before. Someone made fun of me and said "First Child Syndrome". Well whatever. I'm sure I'll be feeling the same nostalgia when #2 comes along.

I am completely amazed by Aidan's development. Sometimes I think he's older than the 2 weeks that's passed.

For one, he's very alert and can track very well when someone or something is infront of him. Most babies hardly open their eyes for the first 2 weeks;
Secondly, his neck muscles are pretty strong now. He can lift his head on his own or at will;
He has put on 400+g when babies his age normally lose weight before putting on.

I had tasted about 2 bouts of his growth spurts. Parenting books should dedicate a whole chapter on Growth Spurts - heck, write a whole book on this topic, lest parents think they are a failure or leave them at their wits end.

Aidan never wanted to sleep; he was like a Bud-zilla wanted to feed ALL the time. I was putting him at my breast every hour on the hour. Just when you think he's satisfied with the feed and you lay him down to sleep, he stirs 15 min later fussing for more. Apparently, babies go through growth spurts at 2, 3 week and 3 & 6 months. Great, something to look forward to.

I leave you with a picture of him clowning around.

The Aidan Journey

2010-04-08T17:49:00.023+08:00

Holy Thursday
By the time Wei returned from work, I had worked up an appetite to have Thai for dinner.

We ordered papaya salad as it was said to be a natural induction. My tummy didn't settle too well. Bud was moving quite a bit that night and I wondered if those movements could be deciphered as panic movements?

Good Friday
I had very light sleep and by 5.30am, with contractions that became more regular, I went to the living room to record the timings. Wei was still in dreamland. If this is the real thing, he'll need his rest for sure. I watched this really slapstick movie called Superhero Movie and managed to laugh some in between contractions.

0547hr: I send sms to Shan, Jie and Linda to tell them early labour as started: contractions every 10 min for 45 s.

I call the hospital to reserve Suite 12, the bigger water birthing suite, and asks the nurse to expect my arrival soon.

0700hr: Wei awakes, sits with me for a while before deciding to catch another 40 wink.

0900 - 1230hr: I manage to sleep some.

Aidan really chooses a good time to come. Dr. Chong announces that he will not be available to deliver baby from 1800 - 0000hr 'cos he's got a dinner he needs to go to. Deb, the mid-wife, had skipped town over the long weekend. "So it's just the 3 of us", I conveyed to Sandra, my Doula.

A flurry of sms were exchanged between Sandra and I on updates. Poor her, she had her family from France in town over the long weekend as well. Think she will have to kiss it good-bye.

1300hr: Wei goes out to buy lunch from Cedele. I have Rosemary Chicken. Wei has his usual Turkey.

1419hr: She asked if I wanted her to hop on over to check. I tell her I'll manage. "If you have to really stop talking during contractions it's time to go...erratic (timing) is normal labour...don't wait too long for a perfect pattern..."

I then tell her it's time and announce to Wei the same. For the first time, I saw anxiety in Wei's face as he gathered to pack some last minute stuff into the overnighter.

1500hr: Sandra arrives and we proceed to NUH.

1530hr: Sandra preps the room for us.

Baby heartbeat monitor

Breathing through a contraction

Eating while I can

1900hr: Dr. Chong drops by for a visit looking dapper and smelling clean en route to his dinner appointment. He gives me a VE and tells me I am 4 cm dilated.

2000hr: I decide to hop into the tub to get the contractions going.

Breathing through a contraction

2200hr: Contractions started coming fast and furious. I am quiet and no longer sociable.

Holy Saturday
0000hr: Dr. Chong pops by to see how things have progressed. My contractions have become erratic and I moan my way through each surge.

Taken by Sandra @ 0135hr. Love this shot.

Wei providing pain relief.

0100 - 0500hr: Each surge becomes back breaking, spine tingling. My moans become more audible. Dr. Chong, whom I was told was sleeping in the room next door, comes in to intervene. He asks for my permission to do another VE and announces that I am 5cm dilated. My labour had stalled; for some reason my body was not working with me at all. The baby is still doing fine but he is worried about me carrying on. He gives me my options:
1) Artificial Rupture of Membrane (AROM) aka breaking water bag to speed up labour; if this fails then;
2) Induce with pitocin to establish a regular pattern if this doesn't work then;
3) Cesarean.

He reminds me that it is about having as natural a birth as possible and gives us some time to think about it.

I was a tad nauseous, sleepy but mostly drained. I had gone on in active labour for 12 hours already. Once he ruptures the water bag, the contractions are going to break me for sure. My reserves were running low - I knew it. Do I continue being cavalier or should I get pain relief? Could I take this for another 5, 10 hours?

I remember lying on the bed, turning away with my eyes closed to weigh my options. I felt like a huge failure. How can my body fail me at a time like this? I'd been geared up for this and practiced it in my mind. As I saw my dream of having a water birth washed away, I knew for sure I DID NOT want a cesarean at any cost. Time was running against me and decisions had to be made fast.

When we made the decision for the water bag to be burst, I saw the room transform from tranquil (it was dark with music playing) to hostile. Lights were turned on, many nurses came in & out, equipments were wheeled around. I was poked, strapped and given an order not to eat.

0630hr: The anesthetist comes. More needles and drips.

Thinking through my decision

0700hr: In epidural bliss and at rest.

I managed to get some rest while Wei still pottered around. Poor him, he's been up for as long as I had been in labour.

0800hr: AROM does not work - contractions still irregular at 10 min apart. Pictocin in. More rest in between.

Down & out

1000hr: Doc comes in to give me VE. She announces that I am 10 cm dilated. Dr. Chong has been informed and he is on his way in.

The table of tools - all ready for the man of the hour

Sandra nice and clean

Dr. Chong's fishing boots...heheheheh....

1100hr: Dr. Chong shows up and gets his hands dirty. I was eating amidst surges to gain strength for the birthing. With 10 contractions, 30 pushes, Aidan slid out of his cozy comfort to meet the world.

A very private moment indeed

At long last

Wei cutting the cord with Dr. Chong

I love, love , love this picture.

Post-mortem: I think having the epidural was probably the best thing that happened to me. I got my rest which was crucial to see me through to the most important end -- breathing Aidan down. I felt the contractions coming on --- & no pain! During the third stage of pregnancy, my uterus had problems expelling the placenta. Dr. Chong went fishing for it. If I didn't have the pain relief, it would have been impossible for him for retrieve it without further pain. Would I try for water birth again? Sure...but I'll keep the anesthetist on stand-by. ;-)

Everyone, Meet Aidan

2010-04-07T14:13:00.002+08:00

Aidan Patrick Lin was born 3 April, 2010 on Holy Saturday at 1112hr weighing 3.188kg after 30 hours of labour into his father's hands.

More updates and pictures soon.

Un-Plugged

2010-04-01T23:28:00.003+08:00

At about 5pm today, my mucus plug came out.

"Mucus plug" = a gelatin-like seal for the cervix which protects the amniotic sac from infection.

This is an awesome sign; it means that the cervix is thining out and dilating in preparation for delivery. For some, labour begins within a few hours, others a couple of days.

I don't know if it was the sweep that did it or the supported squats that I've been doing that helped.

I hope I get awaken by labour contractions tonight/tom morning.

Tub Flub

2010-03-31T21:38:00.006+08:00

We saw Dr. Chong today. I was a little anxious & stressed about the visit today cos the water level was 6.7 low last week and he talked to me about sweeping my membranes last week which Wei & I politely declined.

"Sweep/Strip the membranes": the act of separating the amniotic sac from the cervix to bring the onset of prostaglandin, the hormone used to start labour.

The water level 5.6 was lower than last week and Dr. Chong spoke about the repercussions if we were to let things be.

Something about what he said stuck: having a natural birth is not the most important right now; rather, having a birth in as natural a way possible is the key. For me, if I am intending to do a water birth, delivering the baby with caesarean is on the opposite end of the continuum. I want to do the steps to avoid that end.

The sweep was mighty uncomfortable - apparently my cervix was still pretty high up and has not soften much (a downer for me). I grabbed Wei's hand for support. Geez, this is not even the start of labour.

The discomfort persisted after that for about 4 hours. The feeling was akin to raw skin rubbing against each other.

I am a little down at this point in time. You can't 'train' your body to go into labour. If it doesn't initiate on its own, if the cervix doesn't soften and efface, if you are not dialated....there's not a thing you can do about it.

I feel my water birthing plan slowly drifting away.

On the bright side, I could go into labour the next 48 hours.

Nesting

2010-03-25T19:57:00.003+08:00

"If you have witnessed the birth of puppies or kittens, you've probably noticed how restless the labouring mother becomes just before delivery - frantically running back and forth, furiously shredding papers in the corner, and finally, when she feels all is in order, settling into the spot where she will give birth."
What To Expect When You're Expecting

After vegging on the sofa for 3 hours, I decided to get up and do some cleaning and cleared my wardrobe out.

I. Don't. Clean. At. All.

Well, not much anyway.

Well, I haven't taken out the toothbrush to clean the bathroom floors - is this my nesting instinct? Could this be my body telling me something that my mind haven't quite registered.

Spice, Sports, S*x

2010-03-25T19:47:00.003+08:00

I've eaten spicy food for the past week....Thai, Indon, Mexican.....still no baby.

Then I climbed 8 storeys to my flat....all it did was to give my lungs some workout, my glutes a wee bit tighter and probably a little fiesty Bud.

"Having sex" keeps popping up as one of the natural ways of induction, so much so that a colleague said it really worked for her when I said my good-byes at the office.

Alrighty Bud, it's time your daddy finished the job that he started in the first place. Desperate time calls for desperate measures: mummy will waylay him and then pounce on him for some quick action. Just be ready for the ride.

:-/

Such a Difference A Day Makes

2010-03-23T15:51:00.004+08:00

I have just turned off the telly that has been on since 1000hr. It's been working hard for 5 full hours - in between my morning Weetabix, the calls from Wei, Sha'n, mom, the mail lady, my ham sandwich lunch....it's been working hard, which is more than I can say for this 74.4 kg heavily pregnant body.

Thank God for medical dramas, cute Residents, whiny Interns and the whole DVD boxset. It takes my mind off things and my eyes off the clock. Wei was not too sure if time was on my side but I think he heard the desperation in my voice. And I think I'm not doing too badly at the rate of finishing the whole season.

I'd much liked yesterday better where I had a plan, places to go, people to meet:

It started with meeting Sharon for b'fast. Little A started his first day at nursery. As much as I thought Sharon needed company, I needed to get out of the house so that Aunty could clean the house in peace. I woofed down a bowl of fishball noodle and a plate of black 'char kuey' and caught up with her.

Barely 2 hours later, I was eating again - with Sandra, my Doula. I had mixed berry fruit tart and latte. Sandra wanted us to have girly time together, a bonding session presumably before she saw the monstrous side of a labouring me in the delievry ward.

I walked a km to rent my DVD, did some grocery shopping & waited for Linda dropped by the house for tea.

Like I said, I'd much liked yesterday better. Lounging around is not quite for me.

Tomorrow will be different again. Roz in town for a catch-up, Doctor to see....I will be out of the house.

Bud's Wishlist

2010-03-19T17:21:00.004+08:00

Bud's making a list and missing a couple of items for his arrival:

1. Onesies - Various sizes @ Threadless having their $10 offers (light colours preferred) :);
2. ~~"JJ Cole" Mode Tote Bag - Available in Mothercare, price: $109~~

(Cocoa Tree, Blue Vine design preferred);

3. Cot sheets (fitted 60cm x 120cm);
4. Cot bumper & cot mobile;
5. ~~1 pair of scratch mits~~;
6. ~~4 pieces wrap-over vests with little strings~~;

Gift registries have also been set-up at:
a) Mummy Knows Best
b) Bumwear

Just Key in:
"Jacqueline Koh" (Name)
"20 March 2010"(Event date)

Getting Organised

2010-03-19T14:05:00.003+08:00

Trust an experienced mother to come up with a list replete with items that I had totally missed: bath towels, powder, powder puff, change mats etc.etc.

The list is about complete, the bags are done...now we're doing the waiting game.

Quiet Not By Choice

2010-03-18T15:56:00.003+08:00

I had a lunch date with a friend and asked Wei to come along as a buffer, in case the conversation got to no where and Wei could inject some life into it.

But he was quiet throughout lunch. I cast his several looks to signal, "Feel free to jump into the conversation anytime now" but Wei continued eating.

I know my lunch date was not Wei's fave person to hang out with but he's never kept this quiet before. Maybe he's got stuff on his mind, I thought.

I took the opportunity to ask him later.

"I couldn't hear," came the reply.

The guy was sitting on side of his bad ear.

I was overcome with extreme sadness.

But hey, even I had problems hearing the dude in the echo-y eatery with 2 good ears.

Break From Work for 16 Weeks

2010-03-18T14:31:00.004+08:00

I can't believe that I am actually on official maternity leave now. Seems pretty surreal.

This vaguely reminds me of the time I took a break from the work force for 5-6 months....only difference is this is all me now and Bud....both of us just waiting for the other to be ready.

I had originally wanted to work till the very last minute and this was the same reply I gave to well-wishes. The reactions were mixed from incredulous belief and apprehension that there will be drama in the office to gentle encouragement to re-think my decision. I just wanted to save the leave for the time when Bud arrives for the extra opportunity to nurse and spend time with him - such a waste to spend it on waiting around prior to the event.

The seed of thought was planted by Wei last week on our way for my regular check-up: that I may not be getting much rest when Bud arrives so I should take time off now. Then Deb, the mid-wife, added that I don't want to go into labour tired with work on my mind.

Work was exactly bugging me then. Having realised that I'd gone through all the pre-natal classes was to have a great birth experience, the only way I could clear my mind and focus on the task at hand was to take the break from work.

Need to pack for my new home, tie up some loose ends for my overnighter, do some reading, chill......

Wei's Diaper Cake

2010-03-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

My husband has a strange affinity for stuff toys - actually the other man I know with this affinity is my brother-in-law.

I find it stange ços I don't play with stuff toys....but Wei usually uses it to make me laugh and I can't help but fall for it.

We were at Ikea this week and he purposely placed a monkey (I don't remember the animal actually) peeking out of the in-house shopper bag to catch my attention. Last night he held out a stuffed tiger, a gift for Bud, and did a peek-a-boo when I was in the bathroom.

This is the playful side of Wei that most people don't see...and as much as I roll my eyes sometimes, his antics keeps the relationship fresh.

I present to you Wei's version of a diaper cake:

"Diaper Cake": You Won't Want to Eat this Cake, But the Mother-to-Be Will Love It! -About.com
a creative centerpiece for a baby shower. This cake won't be served to the guests for dessert. But this cake will do double duty as a cute centerpiece and a very practical gift for the new baby. What new baby couldn't use a few extra diapers stacked up in the nursery?

Wagyu Looking At?

2010-03-07T22:50:00.001+08:00

Thanks to Pa for getting us these wagyu patties from the meat wholesale market, we had a dinner of wagyu burger, portobello mushrooms, tomatoes on vine salad and fried egg.

It was really, really delish.

Now, if only the cook allowed me to take a picture of him in apron.

Mamarazzi: 37 weeks on and counting

2010-03-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

Warning: Bump ahead. Go slow.

Body changes
Nails grow faster;
Heavier load on the cervix;
Leaky nipples;
At least 5 visits to the toilet at night;
Tossing in bed becomes cumbersome;
Swollen toes and fingers;
Waddle walk.

Japanese Salad Dressing

2010-02-28T22:31:00.002+08:00

For me, this is the winner.

We've tried several salad dressings now and my search for the yummy Jap dressing is over.

It is not too tart, it is tasty with soy sauce, vinegar and vegetable oil/sesame oil...not sure if yuzu was in it as well.

You can get this bottle at Meidi-Ya Supermarket at S$4.80.

Hobbit Toes

2010-02-28T22:02:00.000+08:00

I just noticed my swollen toes.

Yikes.

The watch on my wrist is also having a bit of tightening issue.

Thanks to the weather lately?

I hope I am not developing a case of pre-eclampsia.

The Good & Not-so-good About NUH

2010-02-28T20:43:00.000+08:00

Having gotten used to/ spoilt by the dedicated service of Raffles Hospital, here's my take on the good and bad sides to going to NUH:

The Bad
The waiting time is way longer ;
More people in the waiting lounge;
The seats are uncomfortable (otherwise there are only 4 couches available);
There's only water dispenser as opposed to hot-drink dispensing machines;
The staff makes it a point to flash price charts at you;
The recept staff pushes a pee stick to you (& expects you to know what to do with it) and expects you to take your own weight when you've just handed them the used stick;
Parking is an issue;
You don't get to see your baby at every visit 'cos there's no ultrasound machine in the gynae's room;
You have to wait again to take an ultrasound since the machine is in another room;
You don't get to pick and choose your next appointment date.

The Good
They offer to guide you through the delivery and post-natal wards;
A water birth mid-wife is assigned to you;
The hospital promotes in-rooming with your baby;
The bill is half of what I used to pay.

The bad outweighs the good but I'm keeping the big picture in mind - I know Wei & I will be in good hands for Bud's arrival on D-day and that's all that matters, ultimately.

My Humpty Dumpty

2010-02-22T23:06:00.003+08:00

On the last day of the CNY holidays, Wei & I did some grocery shopping for dinner to be cooked.

We were at the car park heading towards the car.

The next thing I knew, I saw Wei on his side, laying on the floor with the 2 armful of shopping bags, motionless.

I cried out and in my pregnant, ass-swelling state, I touched him to see if he could be helped up.

I remember 2 cars heading out and they must have witnessed the commotion.

It was an epoxy flooring and a small pool of what looked like oil, blood or red-liquid of some sort.

According to my Humpty, he said thanks to bball that he learnt the art of fall smartly. He was motionless for a while 'cos he was trying to access his body damage, if any.

He could have hit his head on the cement block. That person on the floor could've been me.

Silly guy was more worried about the goods in the bag being damaged.

It was a close one that still makes me shudder.

Free Spirit

2010-02-22T22:21:00.006+08:00

There's something about this shot that I like - never mind that the husband looked white as sheet.

There's a certain energy from the photo that speaks to me.

Maybe it's because at least half of them weren't looking into the camera and the frozen moment in time captured the light-hearted event.

Maybe it's the 2 dudes at the back with their fist pumped in the air.

It's cozy without being too posey.

I just like it.

Glam Cam: 34 weeks

2010-02-20T23:28:00.007+08:00

I haven't gone window shopping for a while and what's a girl to do when she's got some time to kill? Try on some clothes, of course.

I was tempted to get something pretty to wear for the Lunar New Year. With a few more weeks to D-day, I walked away & made do with my existing wardrobe.

Still I had fun changing into the various outfits.

All clothes from Topshop

Ever Wonder About Print Ads?

2010-02-19T22:49:00.001+08:00

I just couldn't figure it out......

Like why in the world is she cross-eyed in this picture?

or why does she look so pained to be carrying the bag?

A Stupid Swell

2010-02-18T21:56:00.011+08:00

In case you didn't get the butt of the joke, the acronym from the title of the blog spells "ass".

From lifeisajoke.com

This cartoon set the general tone for my whole of last week.

After being sent home to rest for 3 days (of course going in to work even for a couple of hours on a daily basis didn't help the situation much), the swelling persisted and it made sitting really excruciating and standing unbearable. This is a stupid thing to have.

Sharon cracked a joke to make light of the situation and I guess I couldn't see light in the tunnel to laugh at myself. Then she said something like it's part of being a mother - not the words I wanted to hear but it drove the message home. I was being a baby. I wanted to wallow in self pity and lament why my smooth expectancy didn't take me all the way to delivery.......sentiments that weren't helping myself at all. Sharon has gone through this twice now and she should know what pain is. I'm just at the tip of the iceberg and already I'm willing to throw in the towel.

I went back to the GP who in turn got me an urgent appointment with the Colorectal Specialist in the same afternoon. He said that I had probably seen/felt the worst of it and it doesn't look very 'angry' like the way I described it. Surgery is not an option this late in the pregnancy and it may recur again. The only thing I could do now was to control and reduce the swelling, continue to eat my roughage and wait for Bud to pop.

I felt despair upon hearing that nothing could be done. As the news from the Specialist wore on, I felt an inner peace with the situation. The only way is up from here; I couldn't expect a miracle cure 'cos there was none. If it was going to be a long road to recovery, so it will be.

I think I ran Wei pretty thin as well for the week. Poor fella had to fight traffic home from work to bring me food with greens. He took care of me and my ass when I was too scared to even touch or look at it.

He bought me a donut seat for the office.

I made peace with the swell, laid my cushion of air on my office chair and got to work.

Sent Home To Bed Rest

2010-02-08T17:55:00.004+08:00

I cannot believe that I got sent home to rest for the next 3 days.

I can hardly sit still so this is a welcome reprieve. But with a colleague taking quite a long break ahead, this ordered holiday seemed extravagant to take.

I knew there was going to be a downside to this pregnancy sooner or later. I've been having it good for the past 6-7 months....too good to be believable.

If I can take this pain in the ass, I should be able to take the surges in labour.

I just hope I don't have to bear the constant pain and discomfort to the next month until Bud emerges.

I think the problem was serious enough for the GP to call Dr. Chong up on medicative solutions.

I hope the pain goes away....soon.

I feel like a blooming baboon.

Mamarazzi: 32 weeks on

2010-01-27T22:47:00.003+08:00

I feel the bump growing bigger by the day.

If Karen Cheng talks about her possessed son, I stare at the nocturnal activities of Bud these nights and think about Poltergeist: my tummy shifts from side to side, blob-like movements traces like a rat under a carpet or a jab of the elbow/kick of a leg from under the skin....it really is quite a feast for the eye.

Will get Wei to video the movements.

Pop Goes The Belly

2010-01-26T23:20:00.002+08:00

If you'd followed my blog, you'd know I have this mortal fear about seeing the inside-outs of my belly button.

I know this will render mummies around the biggest laughter, but I really wonder what happens when my innie is turned inside out?

Will it go 'pop'? Will there be any fanfare? I am touching it ever so often to ensure that it's still the same.

How will it be like when the day comes?

Breaking Up With Edna

2010-01-22T22:46:00.006+08:00

I had been dreading this moment for a couple of months now.

How do you break up with someone when there's nothing wrong with them? You've grown under their wings, changed priorities somewhere along the line & now have to take a different way - a separate route?

The words, "It's not you, it's me" comes to mind.

The time has come for me to tell Dr. Lee, also affectionately known as Edna (Mode), that I have opted for water birth and will have to go with Dr. Chong Yap Seng in NUH, the only place now that offers water bithing facility.

I had asked her opinion before on water birth and she laid down her thoughts/apprehension on it; she might have suspected that I was partial to this natural but uncommon birthing method and anticipated this day to come.

She was very sweet and professional and offered a doctor's note plus my records to be given to Dr. Chong and wished me the best for my delivery - to let her know when Bud enters the world.

I was choked with emotion.

Let's give it up for Edna, my loving respect:

Mamarazzi: Glam Cam on LBD

2010-01-22T22:06:00.006+08:00

I have never been able to wear a wrap-around dress: pear-shaped, short-waisted - it wasn't my look.

Ironically, now with humps and lumps on the body, this mummy can now rock a wrap dress.

Dress: Swell (courtesy of Sharon)

Smooth Business

2010-01-21T23:53:00.004+08:00

The romance has gone out of the window and it is my fault.

Since I've gotten hemorrhoid, Wei had taken it upon himself to ensure I get enough roughage for the day.

Every morning, he takes a small tupperware of cereal from the fridge which he'd prepared the night before and pack milk in the thermal flask for me to take to work.

And I feel I owe to him to provide (cubicle) reports - if I'd had a smooth day, if I've had a hard (pardon the pun) session.

Then there's the aftermath. Boy oh boy.

Choosing Water Birth

2010-01-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

After a couple of weeks of reading up, asking fellow hypnobirthers on the experience, weighing the pros and cons, I have finally decided to go with water birth.

Currently at 31 weeks, that will entail switching of gyanes and hospitals.

Why do I choose water birth?

As a Piscean, water is second nature to me - nothing comes between us when we are together. I remember being in an onsen in Tokyo last April. While Wei hated the high temp (I guess he was thinking on behalf of his buddies) , I was in my own little heaven. The warm water in the birthing tub has been know to provide a sense of pain relief for mothers in labour and I know it will see me through them toughest of contractions.

Water birth is like a subset to hypnobirthing way. It is all natural (no drug assistance), minimal perineum tearing and it is the least traumatic way to introduce the newborn to the world (water-to-water). Not to mention because you get a tub to yourself, it's akin to having your own breathing space amid the craziness of labour pains.

So I tell Ginny, my hypnobirthing instructor and a doula, about my decision. As luck will have it, Ginny had committed to a teaching assignment overseas during my EDD. [All water births need to be assisted by a doula.]

It was a huge HUGE bummer for me. I couldn't think about not having Ginny there. Ginny knows us through the many hours Wei & I spent with her and I know Ginny - enough to know that she is good at what she does. To have another doula in her place is like having to know someone all over again and then inviting that person to one of your most personal events in life and you want everything to be perfect.

The hunt is on for that ONE (perfect) doula.

I hope we meet soon.

Mamarazzi: 31 weeks on

2010-01-18T21:47:00.008+08:00

I didn't have any fancy clothing to put on, my cheeks had gone chubbs, the quickest pick-me-up was to visit my candy man, Ken.

"I want it short," I ordered.

Within minutes, he turned me from sham to glam.

"This (cut) should last you for 2 months," he said.

Before Bud pops, I will be sure to visit my candy man again.

Stay Go

2010-01-14T22:50:00.002+08:00

This morning, Wei went to work with a heavy heart. Today will be his last day in the office.

He had been asked to make a lateral move out of the current team to a different department -- an end to 10 great years working under the guidance of a boss most hold in high regard.

As luck will have it, there was a last minute change with a silver lining in the cloud.

For one, he needn't have to re-locate outwith CBD area (which is great news for me...heheh).

But the lateral move was still required under a different boss.

Somehow, by the time I saw Wei in the evening, he looked visibly tired (presumably from the emo roller-coaster ride) but slightly relieved and undoubtedly daunted on the challenge of this new role.

He'll do great in the undertaking.....he just doesn't know it yet.

Organic Almond Oil

2010-01-13T22:27:00.003+08:00

A certain exchange today went as such:

GM: Jie, could I trouble you to get for me organic almond oil from Naturalist @ Esplanade?

Jie: Can…for your stretch marks?

GM:Pregnant women woes….for my perineum, the skin from my vagina to my backhole. The oil is said to soften the skin for baby delivery. Are you sorry you asked? Hahaha……

Jie: Ya, didn’t quite expect that. Sorry I asked…mental pix not that nice. Haha

GM: The mental picture will be lagi better if I don’t rub the oil and I ‘kena’ a tear from front to back. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jie: Ewww. THANK YOU! Enough already. OK, that’s it…need to call it a day

GM: Bet you’re rushing to get me that oil now.

The Aid Debate

2010-01-13T19:10:00.005+08:00

Wei's been having some liquid in his left ear and it's been bugging him for weeks.

Naturally, he's afraid of an infection in there as a foreboding of something worse to happen.

He saw Dr. Chan, his ENT specialist, 2 days back as part of his regular check-up and luckily all worked out well.

They revisited the issue on hearing aid and it seemed more real now since Dr. Chan brought it up. Wei's hearing in his right ear is functioning at 20-30% now.

I tried not to be too depressed by the thought. There's no shame in having an aid, I thought. Adrian, a fellow NPC survivor, never quite regained his sense of taste. What will that be like?

When the day comes where Wei has to insert the foreign aid, so it will be.

Be Kegel-icious

2010-01-12T23:05:00.003+08:00

Pregnant women have an exercise regime of a different kind.

I try to do my 50 reps of Kegel exercise on a daily basis. I have never thought about toning the group of muscles in there until when I sneezed one day or when I only gently coughed the other day.

Oh no siree, I was not prepared for the outcome.

Kegel is advocated to pregnant women to prepare the pelvic floor from the stresses of vaginal birth. But having said that, Kegel is said to increase...ahem... sexual gratification and more importantly to prevent urinary incontinence.

After getting some serious calf cramps where Wei had to jump into action to de-cramp me, I have to also stretch my calves before and after bed.

Then there are the half squats, said to open up the hip & pelvic floor. Sam, our yoga teacher, makes our legs shiver when she prolongs the pose for 2 minutes. She's also mentally training us to liken our discomfort in the awkward pose to labour and how we must use our breathing to cope with the various stages of birthing.

Of all the things I said, just remember one thing:
Do your Kegels

It may be small, it may not be visible but by golly just imagine how powerful it will be by the time you hit 60.

The female inside will thank you for keeping its modesty (as oppose to saying howdy do).

Knock-Knock

2010-01-11T23:32:00.003+08:00

To my upstairs neighbour

Please stop your funky 0100hr activity of dragging your chair around and plonking weights or whatever heavy-duty stuff on the floor. It really doesn't help with your heavy footsteps which rattles my ceiling when you move around your room.

I know you're not an ape so you got no excuse.

A Must For Lust....

2010-01-11T20:10:00.004+08:00

....says the gilamama.

I've never been one for shoe fetishes but several months of wearing flats has gotten me hankering for one of these babies.

Louboutin explains the inception of the signature red soles:
"In 1992 I incorporated the red sole into the design of my shoes. This happened by accident as I felt that the shoes lacked energy so I applied red nail polish to the sole of a shoe. This was such a success that it became a permanent fixture."

Something to look forward to in 6 months time!

So Not Picasso

2010-01-11T19:25:00.005+08:00

Like the title says, the artist isn't me.

I was touching up on what was supposed to be black but had faded to ash-grey with time.

A task on my list completed.

A very fuflilling weekend for this lazy mama.

London Diaries: The Kensington Creperie

2010-01-08T23:01:00.008+08:00

After a two hour walk-about at the V & A Museum, my legs and back were crying for some TLC. I was only 4 months pregnant then but my stamina weren't what it used to be.

Darren, always planning ahead for what to eat, asked us if we wanted to try some crepes just around the corner, not too far from where the museum was.

Crepes? I thought about the half-baked ones that I took once or twice at Marche and the thought wasn't very inviting.

The place was really small but they managed to squeeze about 10 -12 tables in there. We were at the tailend of the lunch crowd and the wait for a table, albeit outdoors, took a mere 5 minutes. It was a beautiful day to sit outside. The smell of crepes wafting in the air - it was heavenly.

I can't remember what we ate now but the crepe was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside. The mixture of the ingredients inside made the meal totally awesome. Of course with Oringina by the side.

Go try it when you visit London. All those people waiting in line for a table can't be wrong.

Find it:
1. 2 Exhibition Road, South KensingtonLondon SW7 2HF
http://www.kensingtoncreperie.com/
2. Sister restaurant: The Marylebone Crêperie at 71a Marylebone Lane, London W1U 2PJ
http://www.marylebonecreperie.com/

Happy Weekend!

2010-01-08T20:04:00.006+08:00

Says Baby A

Cord Banking vs. Delayed Cord Clamp

2010-01-06T22:41:00.006+08:00

I was bent on going for cord banking before I was pregnant. What's there to think about? Cord banking is about saving lives, isn't it? After Wei's medical history, there was no doubt that we were letting the cord blood go to waste.

But Hyponobirthing changed certain notions I had.

Torn, I sought my cousin's view on cord banking. She has a young baby, is married to a GP and also deeply religious. I thought she could shed some light on where she stands on the medical vs religious front. Instead, she wrote to me to pray for the right answer to come.

Right......I did ask for it, didn't I?

Wei & I did some research and the answer was pretty clear.

1. Cord Banking collection requires the gynae/father to cut the cord soon after the birth of the baby.
2. There is debate on how long the cord blood is viable.
3. The stem cells will be useful for baby's suffering from blood disorders like leukemia, thalessemia. As for the growth of organs etc, this may be light years ahead and we are talking about the possibilities, not the reality.
4. Cord blood is too little to be of use for an adult.
5. The likelihood for the child suffering from leukemia using his own cord blood is ineffective as the stem cells are 'young'and likely to be rejected by his own body.

From CSL Cartoonstock

The blood inside the placenta and the cord belongs to the baby. Bud will need all that oxygen to his organs. If the cord is cut too early, all that oxygenated blood will splatter all over and go to waste. Once all that blood goes to Bud, the delivery of the placenta will be easier and smaller. Most times, hospitals hasten the cutting of the umbilical cord for the baby to be cleaned quickly and then move on to their next task.

The only thing we can't be certain of is the occurence of jaundice in Bud since his blood may become too thick from Polycythemia, causing excess blood to produce bilirubin, the yellow pigment seen on jaundiced baby.

When the time comes, I guess Bud will just be a sunny baby then.

Huh?

2010-01-06T22:33:00.003+08:00

I went to visit my regular news vendor whom I hasn't seen for a while.

In the middle of my sentence, he interuppted, "Is something poking out?"

"Huh?"

"Is something poking out?" he repeated, with a toothy grin.

It took me a solid 5 seconds to think. Is my boob peeking out? OMG, my belly button is sticking out, isn't it?

"Oh, this?" I rubbed my bump.

I have never had someone asked me in that way before.

I guess there's always a first.

Happy 2010!

2010-01-01T20:40:00.003+08:00

We wanted a nice quiet dinner this New Year's Eve. It will be home-cooked, no doubt, and we were going for Asian (enough of the turkey, pork, beef...).

Then Wei sent an sms: we were invited over to MIL's for dinner.

I weighed my options and decided to join the ILs. It's been a while since MIL last invited us and I did miss her cooking somewhat.

On our way home, I asked Wei what he thought of the year - what his achievements were.

He jokingly said he managed to get me pregnant.

This year undoubtedly flew by in a blink of an eye.

We were lucky to make 2 beautiful trips to Tokyo & London.

I managed to take my interest in tennis as far as I could go before Bud decided I was too heavy to run for the balls. I know Wei misses me on the courts.

We got to embrace some friends to dropped by our sunny island for a visit. We also said goodbye to a couple of people:

Roz, whom I lunched regularly with to share office goss and talked about life in general, moved thousands of miles away. Facebook and emails can never bring back the sessions we used to have. I could tap into her experience of being pregnant and birthing..but mostly I miss my friend.

Linsey, also another regular lunch date, decided to say good-bye to the corporate world and challange herself as a full-time mummy. I get to catch-up with her a little more often, only when she has help from a babysitter.

The many colleagues who'd decided to part ways with the company. Some, I was glad to see go. But mostly, leaders and counterparts - whom I never really gotten a chance to know but I am certain would make great people/friends - leave in groups. The departures had a sleeper effect; I would never have guessed that I was depressed by the situation.

To the dearly departed: MJ, FF, JH, Marcus, A Chin...you will be missed; I'm sorry I never got to know you, Marcus.

Next year will be a challenging year for Wei & I...not only with the expectant arrival of Bud but each of us with our jobs.

It will not get easier but I pray that we will be strong enough to sail through....

Only with Wei by my side every step of the way.

Nanas & Fluff

2010-01-01T20:27:00.006+08:00

Our breakfast special today.

Wei liked it as it is but I preferred the pancakes fluffier.

At least it is slightly healthier than the fry-up last week.

Trying out a New Neighbourhood

2009-12-31T18:11:00.003+08:00

Hi Guys

Just trying this new site out.

I have been contemplating moving to a new and more dynamic blog platform and I think blogspot may be the answer.

Love the fact that I could incorporate a slideshow on the blog, put a billboard picture, stick some gadgets in.

For those of my Ya-Ya sisters who'd signed up as livejournalers with me, thank you.

I am hoping you like this layout better.

Let me know your thoughts.