But I will be forever grateful to this guy who waited hours for me and safely delivered my boy. He's given me a great birth story to tell and frankly, I can't wait for baby #2 & go through it again.
For now, i will miss those gynae visits.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Going to Miss The Visits
I feel an immense connection to all who were involved in my long labour.
But I will be forever grateful to this guy who waited hours for me and safely delivered my boy. He's given me a great birth story to tell and frankly, I can't wait for baby #2 & go through it again.
For now, i will miss those gynae visits.
But I will be forever grateful to this guy who waited hours for me and safely delivered my boy. He's given me a great birth story to tell and frankly, I can't wait for baby #2 & go through it again.
For now, i will miss those gynae visits.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Packages for the Little One
Cute gifts galore!
A personalised bib
Hand-Knitted bamboo top with a cute button for the Tiger baby.
Diaper cake
The Heart of Life: I 'Heart' This
I discovered this song by John Mayer today--- love the acoustics, the lyrics and oh that voice. Even when the baby is crying, that voice could sooth many pain.
I hope it does the same for you too.
To friendship, to love and life.
Enjoy.
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good
I hope it does the same for you too.
To friendship, to love and life.
Enjoy.
I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way it should
But I know the heart of life is good
Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good
I know it's good
Friday, April 16, 2010
Aidan At 2 Weeks Old
Last Saturday I was feeling nostalgic about having delivered to Aidan the week before. Someone made fun of me and said "First Child Syndrome". Well whatever. I'm sure I'll be feeling the same nostalgia when #2 comes along.
I am completely amazed by Aidan's development. Sometimes I think he's older than the 2 weeks that's passed.
For one, he's very alert and can track very well when someone or something is infront of him. Most babies hardly open their eyes for the first 2 weeks;
Secondly, his neck muscles are pretty strong now. He can lift his head on his own or at will;
He has put on 400+g when babies his age normally lose weight before putting on.
I had tasted about 2 bouts of his growth spurts. Parenting books should dedicate a whole chapter on Growth Spurts - heck, write a whole book on this topic, lest parents think they are a failure or leave them at their wits end.
Aidan never wanted to sleep; he was like a Bud-zilla wanted to feed ALL the time. I was putting him at my breast every hour on the hour. Just when you think he's satisfied with the feed and you lay him down to sleep, he stirs 15 min later fussing for more. Apparently, babies go through growth spurts at 2, 3 week and 3 & 6 months. Great, something to look forward to.
I leave you with a picture of him clowning around.
I am completely amazed by Aidan's development. Sometimes I think he's older than the 2 weeks that's passed.
For one, he's very alert and can track very well when someone or something is infront of him. Most babies hardly open their eyes for the first 2 weeks;
Secondly, his neck muscles are pretty strong now. He can lift his head on his own or at will;
He has put on 400+g when babies his age normally lose weight before putting on.
I had tasted about 2 bouts of his growth spurts. Parenting books should dedicate a whole chapter on Growth Spurts - heck, write a whole book on this topic, lest parents think they are a failure or leave them at their wits end.
Aidan never wanted to sleep; he was like a Bud-zilla wanted to feed ALL the time. I was putting him at my breast every hour on the hour. Just when you think he's satisfied with the feed and you lay him down to sleep, he stirs 15 min later fussing for more. Apparently, babies go through growth spurts at 2, 3 week and 3 & 6 months. Great, something to look forward to.
I leave you with a picture of him clowning around.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
The Aidan Journey
Holy Thursday
By the time Wei returned from work, I had worked up an appetite to have Thai for dinner.
We ordered papaya salad as it was said to be a natural induction. My tummy didn't settle too well. Bud was moving quite a bit that night and I wondered if those movements could be deciphered as panic movements?
Good Friday
I had very light sleep and by 5.30am, with contractions that became more regular, I went to the living room to record the timings. Wei was still in dreamland. If this is the real thing, he'll need his rest for sure. I watched this really slapstick movie called Superhero Movie and managed to laugh some in between contractions.
0547hr: I send sms to Shan, Jie and Linda to tell them early labour as started: contractions every 10 min for 45 s.
I call the hospital to reserve Suite 12, the bigger water birthing suite, and asks the nurse to expect my arrival soon.
0700hr: Wei awakes, sits with me for a while before deciding to catch another 40 wink.
0900 - 1230hr: I manage to sleep some.
Aidan really chooses a good time to come. Dr. Chong announces that he will not be available to deliver baby from 1800 - 0000hr 'cos he's got a dinner he needs to go to. Deb, the mid-wife, had skipped town over the long weekend. "So it's just the 3 of us", I conveyed to Sandra, my Doula.
A flurry of sms were exchanged between Sandra and I on updates. Poor her, she had her family from France in town over the long weekend as well. Think she will have to kiss it good-bye.
1300hr: Wei goes out to buy lunch from Cedele. I have Rosemary Chicken. Wei has his usual Turkey.
1419hr: She asked if I wanted her to hop on over to check. I tell her I'll manage. "If you have to really stop talking during contractions it's time to go...erratic (timing) is normal labour...don't wait too long for a perfect pattern..."
I then tell her it's time and announce to Wei the same. For the first time, I saw anxiety in Wei's face as he gathered to pack some last minute stuff into the overnighter.
1500hr: Sandra arrives and we proceed to NUH.
1530hr: Sandra preps the room for us.
1900hr: Dr. Chong drops by for a visit looking dapper and smelling clean en route to his dinner appointment. He gives me a VE and tells me I am 4 cm dilated.
2000hr: I decide to hop into the tub to get the contractions going.
2200hr: Contractions started coming fast and furious. I am quiet and no longer sociable.
Holy Saturday
0000hr: Dr. Chong pops by to see how things have progressed. My contractions have become erratic and I moan my way through each surge.
0100 - 0500hr: Each surge becomes back breaking, spine tingling. My moans become more audible. Dr. Chong, whom I was told was sleeping in the room next door, comes in to intervene. He asks for my permission to do another VE and announces that I am 5cm dilated. My labour had stalled; for some reason my body was not working with me at all. The baby is still doing fine but he is worried about me carrying on. He gives me my options:
1) Artificial Rupture of Membrane (AROM) aka breaking water bag to speed up labour; if this fails then;
2) Induce with pitocin to establish a regular pattern if this doesn't work then;
3) Cesarean.
He reminds me that it is about having as natural a birth as possible and gives us some time to think about it.
I was a tad nauseous, sleepy but mostly drained. I had gone on in active labour for 12 hours already. Once he ruptures the water bag, the contractions are going to break me for sure. My reserves were running low - I knew it. Do I continue being cavalier or should I get pain relief? Could I take this for another 5, 10 hours?
I remember lying on the bed, turning away with my eyes closed to weigh my options. I felt like a huge failure. How can my body fail me at a time like this? I'd been geared up for this and practiced it in my mind. As I saw my dream of having a water birth washed away, I knew for sure I DID NOT want a cesarean at any cost. Time was running against me and decisions had to be made fast.
When we made the decision for the water bag to be burst, I saw the room transform from tranquil (it was dark with music playing) to hostile. Lights were turned on, many nurses came in & out, equipments were wheeled around. I was poked, strapped and given an order not to eat.
0630hr: The anesthetist comes. More needles and drips.
0700hr: In epidural bliss and at rest.
I managed to get some rest while Wei still pottered around. Poor him, he's been up for as long as I had been in labour.
0800hr: AROM does not work - contractions still irregular at 10 min apart. Pictocin in. More rest in between.
1000hr: Doc comes in to give me VE. She announces that I am 10 cm dilated. Dr. Chong has been informed and he is on his way in.
1100hr: Dr. Chong shows up and gets his hands dirty. I was eating amidst surges to gain strength for the birthing. With 10 contractions, 30 pushes, Aidan slid out of his cozy comfort to meet the world.
Post-mortem: I think having the epidural was probably the best thing that happened to me. I got my rest which was crucial to see me through to the most important end -- breathing Aidan down. I felt the contractions coming on --- & no pain! During the third stage of pregnancy, my uterus had problems expelling the placenta. Dr. Chong went fishing for it. If I didn't have the pain relief, it would have been impossible for him for retrieve it without further pain. Would I try for water birth again? Sure...but I'll keep the anesthetist on stand-by. ;-)
By the time Wei returned from work, I had worked up an appetite to have Thai for dinner.
We ordered papaya salad as it was said to be a natural induction. My tummy didn't settle too well. Bud was moving quite a bit that night and I wondered if those movements could be deciphered as panic movements?
Good Friday
I had very light sleep and by 5.30am, with contractions that became more regular, I went to the living room to record the timings. Wei was still in dreamland. If this is the real thing, he'll need his rest for sure. I watched this really slapstick movie called Superhero Movie and managed to laugh some in between contractions.
0547hr: I send sms to Shan, Jie and Linda to tell them early labour as started: contractions every 10 min for 45 s.
I call the hospital to reserve Suite 12, the bigger water birthing suite, and asks the nurse to expect my arrival soon.
0700hr: Wei awakes, sits with me for a while before deciding to catch another 40 wink.
0900 - 1230hr: I manage to sleep some.
Aidan really chooses a good time to come. Dr. Chong announces that he will not be available to deliver baby from 1800 - 0000hr 'cos he's got a dinner he needs to go to. Deb, the mid-wife, had skipped town over the long weekend. "So it's just the 3 of us", I conveyed to Sandra, my Doula.
A flurry of sms were exchanged between Sandra and I on updates. Poor her, she had her family from France in town over the long weekend as well. Think she will have to kiss it good-bye.
1300hr: Wei goes out to buy lunch from Cedele. I have Rosemary Chicken. Wei has his usual Turkey.
1419hr: She asked if I wanted her to hop on over to check. I tell her I'll manage. "If you have to really stop talking during contractions it's time to go...erratic (timing) is normal labour...don't wait too long for a perfect pattern..."
I then tell her it's time and announce to Wei the same. For the first time, I saw anxiety in Wei's face as he gathered to pack some last minute stuff into the overnighter.
1500hr: Sandra arrives and we proceed to NUH.
1530hr: Sandra preps the room for us.
Baby heartbeat monitor
Breathing through a contraction
Eating while I can
1900hr: Dr. Chong drops by for a visit looking dapper and smelling clean en route to his dinner appointment. He gives me a VE and tells me I am 4 cm dilated.
2000hr: I decide to hop into the tub to get the contractions going.
Breathing through a contraction
2200hr: Contractions started coming fast and furious. I am quiet and no longer sociable.
Holy Saturday
0000hr: Dr. Chong pops by to see how things have progressed. My contractions have become erratic and I moan my way through each surge.
Taken by Sandra @ 0135hr. Love this shot.
Wei providing pain relief.
0100 - 0500hr: Each surge becomes back breaking, spine tingling. My moans become more audible. Dr. Chong, whom I was told was sleeping in the room next door, comes in to intervene. He asks for my permission to do another VE and announces that I am 5cm dilated. My labour had stalled; for some reason my body was not working with me at all. The baby is still doing fine but he is worried about me carrying on. He gives me my options:
1) Artificial Rupture of Membrane (AROM) aka breaking water bag to speed up labour; if this fails then;
2) Induce with pitocin to establish a regular pattern if this doesn't work then;
3) Cesarean.
He reminds me that it is about having as natural a birth as possible and gives us some time to think about it.
I was a tad nauseous, sleepy but mostly drained. I had gone on in active labour for 12 hours already. Once he ruptures the water bag, the contractions are going to break me for sure. My reserves were running low - I knew it. Do I continue being cavalier or should I get pain relief? Could I take this for another 5, 10 hours?
I remember lying on the bed, turning away with my eyes closed to weigh my options. I felt like a huge failure. How can my body fail me at a time like this? I'd been geared up for this and practiced it in my mind. As I saw my dream of having a water birth washed away, I knew for sure I DID NOT want a cesarean at any cost. Time was running against me and decisions had to be made fast.
When we made the decision for the water bag to be burst, I saw the room transform from tranquil (it was dark with music playing) to hostile. Lights were turned on, many nurses came in & out, equipments were wheeled around. I was poked, strapped and given an order not to eat.
0630hr: The anesthetist comes. More needles and drips.
Thinking through my decision
0700hr: In epidural bliss and at rest.
I managed to get some rest while Wei still pottered around. Poor him, he's been up for as long as I had been in labour.
0800hr: AROM does not work - contractions still irregular at 10 min apart. Pictocin in. More rest in between.
Down & out
1000hr: Doc comes in to give me VE. She announces that I am 10 cm dilated. Dr. Chong has been informed and he is on his way in.
The table of tools - all ready for the man of the hour
Sandra nice and clean
Dr. Chong's fishing boots...heheheheh....
1100hr: Dr. Chong shows up and gets his hands dirty. I was eating amidst surges to gain strength for the birthing. With 10 contractions, 30 pushes, Aidan slid out of his cozy comfort to meet the world.
A very private moment indeed
At long last
Wei cutting the cord with Dr. Chong
I love, love , love this picture.
Post-mortem: I think having the epidural was probably the best thing that happened to me. I got my rest which was crucial to see me through to the most important end -- breathing Aidan down. I felt the contractions coming on --- & no pain! During the third stage of pregnancy, my uterus had problems expelling the placenta. Dr. Chong went fishing for it. If I didn't have the pain relief, it would have been impossible for him for retrieve it without further pain. Would I try for water birth again? Sure...but I'll keep the anesthetist on stand-by. ;-)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Everyone, Meet Aidan
Aidan Patrick Lin was born 3 April, 2010 on Holy Saturday at 1112hr weighing 3.188kg after 30 hours of labour into his father's hands.
More updates and pictures soon.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Un-Plugged
At about 5pm today, my mucus plug came out.
"Mucus plug" = a gelatin-like seal for the cervix which protects the amniotic sac from infection.
This is an awesome sign; it means that the cervix is thining out and dilating in preparation for delivery. For some, labour begins within a few hours, others a couple of days.
I don't know if it was the sweep that did it or the supported squats that I've been doing that helped.
I hope I get awaken by labour contractions tonight/tom morning.
"Mucus plug" = a gelatin-like seal for the cervix which protects the amniotic sac from infection.
This is an awesome sign; it means that the cervix is thining out and dilating in preparation for delivery. For some, labour begins within a few hours, others a couple of days.
I don't know if it was the sweep that did it or the supported squats that I've been doing that helped.
I hope I get awaken by labour contractions tonight/tom morning.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tub Flub
We saw Dr. Chong today. I was a little anxious & stressed about the visit today cos the water level was 6.7 low last week and he talked to me about sweeping my membranes last week which Wei & I politely declined.
"Sweep/Strip the membranes": the act of separating the amniotic sac from the cervix to bring the onset of prostaglandin, the hormone used to start labour.
The water level 5.6 was lower than last week and Dr. Chong spoke about the repercussions if we were to let things be.
Something about what he said stuck: having a natural birth is not the most important right now; rather, having a birth in as natural a way possible is the key. For me, if I am intending to do a water birth, delivering the baby with caesarean is on the opposite end of the continuum. I want to do the steps to avoid that end.
The sweep was mighty uncomfortable - apparently my cervix was still pretty high up and has not soften much (a downer for me). I grabbed Wei's hand for support. Geez, this is not even the start of labour.
The discomfort persisted after that for about 4 hours. The feeling was akin to raw skin rubbing against each other.
I am a little down at this point in time. You can't 'train' your body to go into labour. If it doesn't initiate on its own, if the cervix doesn't soften and efface, if you are not dialated....there's not a thing you can do about it.
I feel my water birthing plan slowly drifting away.
On the bright side, I could go into labour the next 48 hours.
"Sweep/Strip the membranes": the act of separating the amniotic sac from the cervix to bring the onset of prostaglandin, the hormone used to start labour.
The water level 5.6 was lower than last week and Dr. Chong spoke about the repercussions if we were to let things be.
Something about what he said stuck: having a natural birth is not the most important right now; rather, having a birth in as natural a way possible is the key. For me, if I am intending to do a water birth, delivering the baby with caesarean is on the opposite end of the continuum. I want to do the steps to avoid that end.
The sweep was mighty uncomfortable - apparently my cervix was still pretty high up and has not soften much (a downer for me). I grabbed Wei's hand for support. Geez, this is not even the start of labour.
The discomfort persisted after that for about 4 hours. The feeling was akin to raw skin rubbing against each other.
I am a little down at this point in time. You can't 'train' your body to go into labour. If it doesn't initiate on its own, if the cervix doesn't soften and efface, if you are not dialated....there's not a thing you can do about it.
I feel my water birthing plan slowly drifting away.
On the bright side, I could go into labour the next 48 hours.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Nesting
"If you have witnessed the birth of puppies or kittens, you've probably noticed how restless the labouring mother becomes just before delivery - frantically running back and forth, furiously shredding papers in the corner, and finally, when she feels all is in order, settling into the spot where she will give birth."
What To Expect When You're Expecting
After vegging on the sofa for 3 hours, I decided to get up and do some cleaning and cleared my wardrobe out.
I. Don't. Clean. At. All.
Well, not much anyway.
Well, I haven't taken out the toothbrush to clean the bathroom floors - is this my nesting instinct? Could this be my body telling me something that my mind haven't quite registered.
What To Expect When You're Expecting
After vegging on the sofa for 3 hours, I decided to get up and do some cleaning and cleared my wardrobe out.
I. Don't. Clean. At. All.
Well, not much anyway.
Well, I haven't taken out the toothbrush to clean the bathroom floors - is this my nesting instinct? Could this be my body telling me something that my mind haven't quite registered.
Spice, Sports, S*x
I've eaten spicy food for the past week....Thai, Indon, Mexican.....still no baby.
Then I climbed 8 storeys to my flat....all it did was to give my lungs some workout, my glutes a wee bit tighter and probably a little fiesty Bud.
"Having sex" keeps popping up as one of the natural ways of induction, so much so that a colleague said it really worked for her when I said my good-byes at the office.
Alrighty Bud, it's time your daddy finished the job that he started in the first place. Desperate time calls for desperate measures: mummy will waylay him and then pounce on him for some quick action. Just be ready for the ride.
:-/
Then I climbed 8 storeys to my flat....all it did was to give my lungs some workout, my glutes a wee bit tighter and probably a little fiesty Bud.
"Having sex" keeps popping up as one of the natural ways of induction, so much so that a colleague said it really worked for her when I said my good-byes at the office.
Alrighty Bud, it's time your daddy finished the job that he started in the first place. Desperate time calls for desperate measures: mummy will waylay him and then pounce on him for some quick action. Just be ready for the ride.
:-/
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