Saturday, June 26, 2010

Holding On To Precious Moments

You know how some people are squirmish about carrying a baby who's not quite developed her neck muscles or sit up on her own?

Yep, that was me.

I wouldn't offer to carry unless the baby was at least one year old...the only exception were my nephews and that was under the supervision of their parents.

"I only like babies when they can talk," declared I.

And I hung on to that sentiment entering parenthood.

Of course I handle Bud with a lot more confidence than I had with babies, say a year ago.

But I was waiting with eager anticipation for him to grow up fast so we could have meaningful conversations. I couldn't wait to fast forward this stage where he does nothing but eat, sleep and poo. I found myself telling friends that Bud doesn't sleep a lot because deep down inside, I didn't know what to do with him during his waking moments.

Then I read the sentiments of Elizabeth Pentley, author of the "No Cry Sleep Solution" : "You may find you actually relish those quiet night wakings when no else is around. .... I love these silent moments that we share in the night. And I love being needed by this precious baby. ... Trust me when I say,"You'll miss this." Even the dark, exhausted nights will take on certain romance in your memories, and they'll bubble to the surface when your "baby" drives off in his first car, graduates from school, gets married, has his own baby."

And it hit me.

When I return to the work force, will those previous moments be hard to come by? Will my days consume my energy such that I no longer have the willpower to feed him at night?

By golly, these may be my last few weeks of nursing! Maybe I don't quite feel it yet but I know I will miss those nights for sure when it was just me, Bud and a few nocturnal insects.

Now that he is getting sociable (smiles, chuckles) and "conversing" a fair bit, he'll start running in a blink of an eye and ironically, I'm hoping to retard the wheels of change and hanging on to every precious moment I have with him.

Running for Sanctuary House

The pledge:
Run 21 km
Raise S$21,000.00 AND
Lose 10 kg

Kudos to the person who thrives to achieve any ONE of the above, much less all 3 at the same time.

This outstanding pledge is a "single mother's search for balance & fulfilment" in support for Sanctuary House.

Sanctuary House was set up in 2005 as a haven for abandoned babies and families in crisis pregnancy situations.

Ginny, an established Doula in Singapore and a victim of child abuse, is fulfilling her dream of running a marathon, putting her Hypnobirthing teachings and her hectic professional schedule to the test.

Be a part of Ginny's journey by reading her running updates and spread the word.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Thursday, June 10, 2010

My Saviour - The No Cry Sleep Solution Book

I may be counting my chicks before they hatch but I think this needs to be baby is officially sleeping through the night!

I am literally over the moon! This is the third consecutive day now. The first night hew slept for 6 hours, then 6.5 hours then last night-- get this, 7.5 hours!

And Bud actually went to sleep on his own during his afternoon nap. No pacifier, no rocking, no feeding.

At his age, "sleeping through the night" means about 4-5 hours of sleep so I wasn't complaining about waking twice during the night to nurse him. It was getting him to sleep more during the day that was bugging me.

So I read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley -- it is a must-read for all parents who believe in not letting their baby cry it out when putting him to sleep.

The tips given in the book are largely intuitive but there were some "Aha!" moments for me and I identified with many of the struggles of the test mommies.

My take-aways from the book are: sleep association and adopt a pre-sleep routine.

Basically, babies have numerous brief awakenings. So it is important to recognise that babies make sleeping noises and yes, even if it sounds that Baby is crying, he's really just having REM sleep; so don't rush to soothe Baby just yet. Often, Baby is able to go back to sleep on his own. Or if your baby is like Bud who tends to jolt 5-10 minutes after falling asleep, stick around and soothe him back to sleep when it happens.

Also, cut yourself loose from the chains of rocking, using the pacifier, nursing to get Baby to sleep. I have adopted a routine prior to Bud's sleeping time so he learns to associate those activities to sleep.

If you have a bub who wakes up several times a night looking for comfort, company and not because he is hungry or if you are like me who didn't quite know how to settle Baby down for a long nap in the afternoons, help yourself (your sleep and sanity). Grab this book.

You won't regret it.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

The Hero

Wei doesn't say it in so many words but I think he feels inferior to my breasts. They almost always seem to calm Bud down.

I don't think it's so much the fact that nothing he does is ever good enough but more like he doesn't feel that he's helped much, if at all, in trying situations.

Last night Bud became upset at the breast. He's never been that way before and cried so hard. We didn't know what else to do. Any attempt of distraction inevitably returned to my offer of the breast which I've relied so heavily on as an effective soothing technique.

Yet Wei offered to take Bud and bob him -- the way he knew how. Even though he was tired, feeling under the weather with Bud crying into his good ear, Wei persevered and held on to the hapless bub until he settled down and finally fell asleep.... for 6 beautiful hours.

To me, the attempt to tackle an issue even though the means may not guarantee the intended result is true grit. Wei is such a great parenting partner who is ever ready to jump in and help --and I am ever thankful.

In the meantime, I am just a mama cow and I have much to learn about the art of the rock and roll.

Monday, June 7, 2010

NB No More

I can't believe I am getting emotional over this--- my baby is not a baby anymore!

Well it feels like it anyway.

Bud had overgrown his newborn (NB) clothing, some cute animal cartoon tops at that. His tummy gets exposed, his chest bigger, the buttons in the middle threaten to pop out.

Well, he's 10 weeks old now and 2.6kg heavier at 5.8kg. It's a matter of time that he'll fill out his clothing instead of hanging on him like sacks.

I've packed the NB sizes away and taken the bigger-sized clothes out for him tonight.

He can't remain a baby forever but he'll always be my baby.

7 day old

10 weeks old

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Milk Mare

Bud cries....we check. Just one of his sleeping noises but it really does sound like he wanted attention.

"Having another nightmare," I said. "What nightmare can he possibly have?" I wondered.

"Being surrounded by breasts with no nipples," replied Wei.


Tracing The Source

Not the best shot for comparison but you get what I'm trying to show you here.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Our Tingkat Dinner

Since we've been home for the weekends, I've ordered our dinners from KCK Food Catering.

PS: Their website is not all updated.

I was pleasantly surprised that:
1) their tingkat (tiffin carrier) dinners doesn't require you to order a minimum of x number of meals per week which many other tingkat catering sites do;
2) it costs about $5 per person per meal for 3 dishes & 1 soup;
3) the meals actually taste good (not salt laden) and they don't skimp on the ingredients.

a) They can't deliver in tingkats anymore but in microwavable containers. Wei & I send the containers to the recycling bag in our bid to save Earth's resource *fingers crossed*. I guess that's why they don't tie you down for a min. meals per week;
b) They only deliver to the East.

This was one of our meals:

Did I actually mention what a lifesaver these meals have been?

Future Pondering

I lay awake at 0246hr this morning even though I am knackered from the day's work.

My mind has been preoccupied with Bud's future.

I am sure that every mother before me who had planed to return to the workforce when her maternity leave expires have agonised about arranging the best care for her baby or considered alternative working arrangements to spend quality time with her bub.

I had it figured out.

Or so I thought until Bud arrived and I got to spend the past 2 months with him. Anticipating what is to come, I've wavered in my decision a couple of times.

I cannot help but feel anxious about leaving Bud in the Babysitter's care come July.

I will miss his first rollover, his first crawl, his first hear it from the babysitter's mouth will be heart wrenching. Will he still know me from what little time we have? Will I know him?

I remember a poignant scene from "Stepmom" where Susan Sarandon reveals to Julia Roberts that she has cancer and that her children's welfare will be in the latter's good hands. For a mother not to be able to partake in her child's future is heart breaking enough. To give it up to someone who (in her opinion) was deemed unfit even as a child minder must have been extremely humbling.

Well I do have more alternatives to play around with than Susan Sarandon had in the movie. But the permutation of placing Bud in the Babysitter's care while I work full time seems the best....right now.

Like it or not, she is a big feature in Bud's life.... anyway. Begrudgingly, I admit that he will be well-taken cared of by any standards.

It's about giving up control.

If I've been doing things a certain way, I bet it will be undone when there's a change of hands. There's no right or wrong way --- but there's a preferred way by either of us. The poor baby's going to be confused.

Susan Sarandon lamented that Julia Roberts will get to see her daughter in a wedding dress and Julia Roberts fears that her stepdaughter will wish her mom was around.

Babysitter may get to see all the firsts but I hope in my poorest of heart that Bud will wish I was there to witness it instead.
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